What's up dudes

Hi friends,

I really like my computer. I'm watching a skateboard video I borrowed off the internet and blogging at the same time. Wow, I feel so futuristic. Seriously, 10 years ago I was a nerdy boy imagining such coolness.

Anyways, I had a really cool holiday with my fam in Canada and also in the USA. My dad bought this cool thing called a Wake Skate, and it was super fun. It's basically a smaller version of a wakeboard but without bindings and a soft rubber top for standing on with bare feet. It was really addictive and I couldn't get enough of it.

What else was cool....hmmm...oh! I musn't forget how nice it was to visit my friends: Martin and Danielle, and Aubrey and his girlfriend Rachelle (Rochelle? It's the frech sounding one with the soft 'ch'). I also got to meet my sister's (Dallas') boyfriend, Dan. He was good fun and added to the enjoyment of the holiday.

I also ate steak at least once a day, and Dan and I got to play steaks one night (as seen in 'Scrubs') which was awesome. Dan ate 4 steaks and I tapped out at 3, but they were big-ass steaks. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! I also had a big 20 ouncer at this super delicious restaurant on the lake called Elkins. Last year the fat guy from NYPD blue was sitting at the table beside us when we ate there.

Now I have gnarly jet-lag that I can't seem to get over, which is compounded with some kind of heinous virus that had me literally moaning with agony today. Yech!! I feel better now though, and tomorrow we're going to see the in-laws in Skipton which is always a treat (the in-laws that is, although Skipton ain't bad either, except that last time I went I was served a dirt sandwhich at the French Cafe and then told it was salad dressing.)

Hope you all are doing well. I need to get my knees fixed because they complain when I skateboard, stupid knees.

Ciao!



Here's a photo of me trying to get respectable air. It was fairly respectable, however since the advent of digital cameras it seems like action shots are always too early or too late. I suppose the trick is to use sequence (aka rapidfire) settings on digi cams and then you will get all the action, either that or just video record it and then make your own still shots. Oh well, next time.



Here's another too early photo.



Because the wake skate is so small (113cm compared with 136-142 on a wakeboard) you can't see the board, all the better I suppose since by the end of 4 days use all the paint was coming off. By the last day I was able to really ollie on it and it was sooooooo fun! This is the best photo unfortunately, the air is not yet respectable because I just got it that morning and was getting used to no bindings craziness.

England is pointless and it smells like poo.

I just waited over 20 minutes for my prescrition hay fever medicine at my local pharmacy. It really shouldn't even be called a pharmacy, more of a methodone dispensation kiosk/pregnancy test clinic. While I was waiting for my nasal spray and eyedrops 3 smackheads wizzed in and out to take their methodone. Seriously, everytime I go to a pharmacy in Leeds I see at least one or two junkies go up to the side of the counter and drain the contents of a little brown bottle that the pharmacist gives them.

The sidewalks and streets are basically covered in rubbish, beer cans, take away boxes, vomit, old chips, etc. Seriously, I don't even notic puke anymore but there's always a couple fresh ones when I walk to the store. Right now my street smells like a garbage fire too because someone set a construction skip on fire like two weeks ago and it still hasn't been cleaned away - smelly melted plastic and stuff smeared all over the street and sidewalk. On any given Sunday morning if Beth and I walk through the community-regeneration park there will be drunks passed out everywhere. We always see people peeing, no matter what time of day it is. Seeing people barfing their guts out is also quite common, and we don't go out at night so I'm talking morning/afternoon.

On the way to the pharmacy I watched some little girl get chased around by 3 dogs (her dad was with her so I didn't feel I could intervene). In England the rule is as follows: the poorer you are, the more mean, huge dogs you get and the more you let them run around 24/7 rampaging through the neighbourhood. At our last house Beth got chased a number of times by two very mean Rottweillers that often ran wild around our streets. I called they cops and they were like 'ya, we don't care unless they bite her.' Another bonus of this situation is having dog-crap everywhere to complement the beer cans etc.

Another telling anecdote: a couple days ago Beth and I were walking to the Co-op and saw two lads who looked at least 20 running around the graveyard, bare chested and throwing pieces of broken tombstones at eachother as if it was a game of dodgeball.

To top it all off I can't get a summer job 'cuz the economy sucks and the only jobs available are long-term (1 year min) contracts for call centres. The temp agencies won't even look at my resume becaue they are all overstaffed and I can't even do what I did in Canada when I needed easy cash - temp at warehouses, moving companies, labour, whatever - because the jobs simply aren't there and even the ones that are require a special certification. I'm not sure what this certification consists of ('How to tie you steel-toed boot laces; why you shouldn't stick high-pressure air hoses up your mate's rear-end; etc.').

Anyways, whatever you do don't ever move here unless you are rich. And even there doesn't seem like much point because you will be much richer if you stay in Canada because the ppp (purchasing power parity) sucks in England (which means that even after allowing for exchange rates, your money still doesn't go as far, and that is really saying something because the exchange rate is usually about 2.2$CAD to £1GBP).

One thing I've learned is why poor people vote conservative. It's really easy to be a soft-hearted liberal when you live in a gated community, but when you live in this rat-infested heck-hole (hehe, heck-hole) you just want a govenrment that will throw your smackhead, dog pooping, street barfing neihbours in jail and kick out crazy imams from Pakistan that hate England yet continue to move here. I should say that I don't think there's that many of them (there may be, but I would prefer to err on the side of caution) but this neighbourhood has produced a disproportionate amount of insane Islamic crazies (the redundant adjectives are necessary to describe the level of craziness), have I mentioned that those guys who plotted to chop off our Canadaian Prime Minister's head were mentored by a guy from my neighbourhood? And most of you I think know how the July 7th London bombers were from just around the corner, literally a stone's throw away from our house.

By the way, regarding this whole Israel Lebannon thing, Israel is obviously guilty of a war-crime here having basically destroyed an entire country, and they are unlikely to do much in the way of a 'Martial plan' to rebuild it, but seriously, what a bunch of dunder-heads hezbollah are too! They have sacrificed their entire country and have gained nothing but notoriety from sane people and street-cred with other muslims crazies. What a bunch of nutters they are.

Anyhoo, I'll tell you one thing that's for dern sure: I'm stroking and cherishing my Canadian passport like you wouldn't believe. I mean me and my wife are OUTTAHERE as soon as we finish these educations we've started, I'm serious dudes! Yikes!!

Just needed to say this stuff, thanks for listening. Beth and I are doing good though, and we're coming to Canada tomorrow! Yippee!

Bye! :p

P.S. - Beth's brand new (one day old) digital camera and ten pounds got stolen out of her bag when she was at a coffee shop yesterday. I blame the smackheads (although they may not be to blame).

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